Thoughts to Yourself
by TheAngelofFate
Summary: After Charles see something in Erik's mind he shouldn't have, a memory pushed so far back into his mind, he begins digging for information on what this all meant. Things then go from bad, too worse, too shit as Charles realizes his actions might have cost him a brother, as Erik stops speaking to him. {Reposted due to technical difficulties} No Slash.


Okay all, I decided to make another X-men story since its been a while since my last one. Rewatching Day of Future Past and First Class has gotten me fueled my love even more for the franchise.

So this particular story is setting four years after the whole shit that happened in Washington DC. Pretty much everything is the same only that instead of leaving Raven goes back to the Manor. Then "off screen" a few days of soul searching, Erik goes back and starts a relationship with Raven and they get married.

I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter!

* * *

"_Erik._" Charles pleaded with the man who had his back to him. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean for this too happen!"

Silence.

Charles couldn't take it anymore. He knew this was his fault, he knew that he shouldn't have delved into the metal bender's mind and tried to fix apart of Erik's forced forgotten past that was- regretfully clear to him now - beyond fixing, beyond helping. He only wanted to help, he _only_ wanted to stop the man's recurring nightmares he's been having. Because Charles was a good person, because he _cared_.

Yes, he cared about Erik. Erik- to the telepath- was his friend, his best friend. A brother he never had, well Cain didn't count, he never thought of Cain as his _family_ let alone a sibling.

Erik was still ignoring him. Clearly upset with Charles, he felt betrayed and rightfully so. But that didn't mean Charles was okay with it. Emotions getting the better of him, the telepath slammed his hand on his wheelchair. "Dammit, Erik! What do you want me to do!?"

Then finally Erik slowly turns around. "I don't _want_ you to do anything, Charles." He spoke for the first time to Charles in two weeks. "What's done is done. You can't change what's happened and I can't forget what you've done."

"I'm sorry." Charles said automatically. He truly was. "Believe me I am."

Erik nodded. "I know. I do.." He then started walking passed his friend, but Charles caught his arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. I need sometime to myself."

_No! Not again! _His heart began hammering in his chest, panicking. He was going to- but he and Raven promised... "Are you going to abandon me again, Erik?"

Erik sighed, closing his eyes. "Time is what I need, Charles. I can't deal with what's happened here in the school. I just can't." He gently removed his wrist from Charles hand and moved toward the door.

_Erik... Please. _

The German opened the door to Charles' study before pausing. "You know when I left that day in Cuba, I never thought I had abandoned you. I always thought that you had your own views on humanity and I had mine. And as much as I disagreed with you back then, I respected your own opinion. I thought we were just going our separate ways. And even _now_ though my views have changed and are no longer bad intentions, and you will always remain my dear friend-"

_...I'm sorry, You abandoned Raven- me- us, first. _

Then walked out.

* * *

Three months ago:

"Jean! Put me the hell down, _now_!"

Jean giggled as she continued to levitate her teacher. "Like this, Professor?" She asked, turning her head and looked at him.

Charles smiled as he put a gentle hand on Jean's shoulder. "That's marvelous, Jean. Absolutely _brilliant_." His smile grew even wider when he heard a animalistic growl come from above.

"Chuck! You know I don't like highest!"

"Ah, but that, my friend is the reason why it's so funny, Logan." The Professor said still very much amused. He motioned for Jean to put Logan down. But instead of lowering him to the ground gracefully, Logan fell face first onto the ground below.

He couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips. Wolverine stood up and glared. "Ya think that's funny, do ya?"

The answer Logan received was a small chuckle. "Man, I hate it when Erik leaves and goes once a year to God knows where for hours. Cause until he gets back _I_ have to deal with a bored Charles Xavier."

The smile remained on said telepath's face. But his thoughts- which they often did- wondered in particularly to his friend. The rest of the school may not know where the metal bender goes once a year, the only two that did were Raven and himself. And even Raven, Erik's own wife- didn't even know all the details on where her husband went, all she knew was he went somewhere every year on this day and that it was very important to him that he'd go alone, not even bringing Pietro, Wanda, or Kurt along either.

Of course, Charles being a telepath and all, saw exactly where Erik went. When Erik and Raven had been back at the house when the new year came around, two years ago. His friend went to a make-shift memorial he made himself down at the local cemetery, in honor of his mother and father.

After the camps and the holocaust itself, a young Erik had no idea where his parents remains were. His mother's was dragged off after Shaw killed her, and his father, he got tortured, if it was possible even worse then Erik was during his own torturing. But unlike Erik, his father didn't survive. This was the day, the day his father died. And coincidentally the day of his parents anniversary _and_ the day he killed Shaw.

At that time, it didn't take long for Erik to realize that Charles saw everything. But instead of getting annoyed, Erik just took his head.

_You worry too much, my friend._

Charles smiled sheepishly then, knowing that he'd been caught snooping. _Maybe, but I can't help it, between you and the students I'll likely lose all my hair sooner then my future counterpart. _

Erik laughed. Then left and stayed out for five hours, only to coming back slightly stumbling- looking emotionally drained- into the Manor and going straight to bed.

"Professor?" A voice said suddenly, snapping Charles back into the present. Turning his head. Ororo's nephew, David poked his head in the training room. "Um... Erik's walking up the driveway."

Upon hearing those words, Charles immediately used his powers and true to his words he felt the metal bender making his way inside the Institute. "Thank you for letting me know, David." He began to move his wheelchair out of the training room and taking the elevator up into the main hallway of the Manor, he got into his usual everyday rhythm of getting downstairs and to the door entrance.

Once Charles arrived he was greeted to the sight of his Raven and Erik in 'Hello, welcome back' type of kiss. Charles smiled at the sight. Silently thanking whatever power was in the world that the two most important people in his life were finally happy.

"It appears I have interrupted something." Charles said deciding to tease his sister and best friend a bit.

Erik and Raven jumped at the sudden voice, they broke apart their kiss only to relax when they saw that it was Charles. They blushed and parted away from each other, feeling sheepish. Charles snickered.

"You have the most impeccable timing, my friend." Erik stated with a mocking glare as he strolled casually over to the telepath, kneeling down so that they were eye level.

"Not really, you two just have no shame in where you kiss."

Raven blushed. "Charles!" She said completely embarrassed. But Erik didn't look the least bit offended. Instead he held out his hand behind him for her to take, which she did. Erik pulled her beside him and scoffed. "Rightfully so, she is after all, my beautiful wife." Erik said as he kissed her Raven's hand.

Charles laughed.

Erik returned the gesture and shook his head. _But honestly, Charles. You don't need to come an greet me every time this day comes around._

_I know I don't _have_ too, my friend. But I _want_ too. _

_Hehe. And Raven says _I'm_ stubborn_. Erik then suddenly let out a huge yawn.

Having been through this with the metal bender four times already, he gave his friend a look of sympathy. "Would you like to go and rest, Erik? You must be exhausted being away for nine hours."

The German rubbed his right eye and gazed at Charles. "What about the kids? Don't I have a lesson to teach?"

"I can get one of the other teacher's to cover for you."

Erik grinned at Charles' request. Standing up he clasped the telepath's shoulder. "Ah, my friend. Your a life saver!"

"So I've been told." Came Charles reply as he watched his friend walked upstairs. He then turned to Raven. "And you, darling. Have a class in two minutes."

Raven moaned. "Physics. You had to give me of all people a teaching in Physics, Charles."

"Aw, but your so good at it though."

"_Hank_ is better at Physics then me, Charles." Raven said as she bent down, straighten some strains of his brown hair, kissed the top of his head and left. He watched her go as well. The bell rang then, Charles proceeded to make his way back to the upper part of his home.

* * *

"I had you all memorize a quote last week. Can one of you repeat it for me?"

Several eager hands rose in the air, all wanting to really answer Charles question. He grinned, feeling so much pride for all the hopeful, happy looking children that were in his care. "Yes, Serena?" He pointed to the 10 year old girl with long black hair, who had the power of invaluably and electro shock breathes.

Serena happily stood up. "Chess is perhaps the only game in which their is no element of chance. Life is a kind of chess, wouldn't you say?"

"Excellent, Serena! And who was the quoter?"

"Unknown, Professor."

Charles nodded. "Well done. Now before we get started I wanted to say another quote from a _very_ _old_ friend of mine. It's one I have used before so I want you to say the final six words: Just because someone stumbles and loses their way-"

"-Doesn't mean their lost forever." His whole class chanted out loud and clear so all their voices were heard.

The Professor again nodded his head- _Fear_. Charles gasped. It gripped his mind and heart so fast that not only Charles felt like he was drowning, but it felt like he was having a heart attack. He closed his eyes as they suddenly began to hurt from this sudden surge of intense fear.

_Nononono! _

Charles blue eyes snapped open. He knew immediately who that desperate, trembling voice belonged too. "Erik." And without a second thought he began to wheel himself away from his desk and towards the doors.

"Professor?"

Right, he almost forgot about his students. "You'll all have to excuse me for a moment, there's something important I must deal with at the moment." He told his class of twenty and disappeared behind the door.

* * *

This is the first time I've attempted to do a 'past event leading up to the present' type of story. Thoughts? Please remember to review it really helps me out a lot and I'll see you guys soon!


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